Well it turns out I didn't even have to do anything! (Or at least: not as much. :) )
Of all people: Nick Danger went and posted this on NANAE.
Curiouser and curiouser...
I guess he has recently been kicked off of a variety of spammer forums. (Nice job on that one, btw.)
My statement still holds true. I'll make sure the very wrongest of people get the very most of several people's personal information until these attacks stop.